Prologue to Chapter 5 pg. 3-47
Grande, R. (2012). The Distance Between Us: A Memoir. (pp. 1-47) New York, NY: Washington Square Press.
Expectations:
I expect to learn about the immigrant experience in America on a deeply emotional level and be able to finish the book with an understanding of such an experience in a way that I could not have had before, as my family has been in America for many generations. I think it will be especially relevant given the rhetoric used in the most recent presidential race and the stance on immigration, particularly from Mexico, that President Donald Trump holds. I feel that, from standpoints similar to my own, it can be quite easy to reduce immigrants to a faceless mass whether one strongly supports or opposes immigration into the US. I believe this memoir will serve to open my eyes on the matter and personalize all those who face the same struggles as Grande, as well as educate me on Mexican and Mexican-American culture.
Day 1:
So, this post is just encompassing the part of the memoir that I read on the first day opening the book.
It may be a bit hard to tell in the picture, but there were a lot of moments/phrases that stood out to me (I expect to use a few too many of my sticky tabs in reading this). The thing that stood out most to me was actually in the short prologue, in which Reyna (as a child) associated El Otro Lado (the other side: America) with Mexican folklore. Specifically, the association with La Lorena, a being that steals children with El Otro Lado as a being that steals parents (pg. 3-4). This is coming from the mind of a very young Reyna, only 4 years old, upon learning that her mother is going to America at the request of her husband, a father that Reyna does not remember. This is well shown in the fact that Reyna became attached to a specific photograph of her father, as it was the one she had always considered to be her papi as it was the photo in the home she grew up in (pg. 6).
Young Reyna held a bit of resentment to her mother for leaving her and her siblings. Her mother often said "my husband needs me" to which angered Reyna, thinking "As if my father is not a grown man. As if her children didn't need her as well" (pg. 7). It was only with reflection from much later did Reyna realize how important it was for her mother to go, as many men from their hometown left for America and never returned or called for the families they left behind. Certainly, this was a source of stress for her mother, one that Reyna at 4 could not comprehend despite knowing of fathers and husbands who had started entirely new lives upon reaching El Otro Lado. Even still, to me as someone who has lived quite well in the same home with both my parents for my entire life, it is difficult for me to accept how her mother was seemingly so easily able to leave her children behind. I do not know if she experienced any sort of conflict as I only have the information given by Reyna who is relying on her memories from her early childhood.
What I am sure of is that Reyna's mother thought that she was leaving her children in good hands with their Abuela Evila, their father's mother who was not fond of his choice of a wife. However, this was not the case. Reyna and her siblings, Carlos and Mago, were mistreated by their grandmother largely due to her distaste with their mother. She used the money sent by Reyna's parents for herself and their cousin (whose mother had become successful in America but had not returned to take her daughter with her). While their cousin, Elida, always had beautiful clothing, silky hair, and proper meals, Reyna and her siblings' had no shoes, old, ratty clothing, "louse-ridden hair [and] abdomens swelled with ringworms" (pg. 24). This contrast shows that their grandmother was purposefully neglecting three of her grandchildren whilst she spoiled another. It wasn't a matter of not being able to adequately provide for them but rather a wish not to.
Within chapter 5, Elida has her quinceanera. This is an important cultural event signifying a girl's entrance into adulthood at age 15 (much like the Filipino debut at age 18 and the, now uncommon, debutante ball typically associated with the white Southern United States). It is easy to tell how important this event is as Elida's mother comes from America to put it together (however, she still does not bring her daughter back with her when she leaves). Elida dances El Vals de las Mariposas with
a butcher from their town, a cousin of the mother. This dance is typically a father-daughter dance but Elida's father is not present, her mother had remarried and had a son while in America. Reyna, now 5, began to cry and pray for her father to return before her quinceanera as she only wanted to dance El Vals de las Mariposas with him, as was tradition. From this, it is clear just how important this event is within the Mexican culture and also to the girl herself. Reyna wants to have her event be just as grand but more so she wants to follow the tradition and dance with her father, whom she doesn't even remember. In this moment it is not her mother that she wishes for even though her mother raised her and has been the person she has been missing greatly for the past few months.
I can already tell that this book is going to meet my expectations. I'm greatly looking forward to seeing how Reyna's life in Mexico progresses as well as how she adjusts to life in America. While Reyna was a child in the 1980s, I am getting a view of life in Mexico that I would never get in traveling there. I was in Mexico for a day last year and was simply a tourist (the mug in the photo is a souvenir from that trip). Then, I didn't even much time in the city I was at (Playa del Carmen) before proceeding
outside the city to an "adventure park." I did get a sense of how Mexico has developed in recent years as my guide explained how the city has grown substantially economically and physically within the past decade. I do hope to travel to Mexico again and actually be able to spend time outside of tourist catered activities. I believe Reyna's memoir, while focused on immigration, will be valuable to enhancing my appreciation of Mexican culture and help me to be a more considerate visitor.
1 [Karla Medina-Barraza]. (2016, August 16). Ruby's Quinceañera - Vals de las Mariposas. [Video File]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLWMQijjwLI
Day 1:So, this post is just encompassing the part of the memoir that I read on the first day opening the book.
It may be a bit hard to tell in the picture, but there were a lot of moments/phrases that stood out to me (I expect to use a few too many of my sticky tabs in reading this). The thing that stood out most to me was actually in the short prologue, in which Reyna (as a child) associated El Otro Lado (the other side: America) with Mexican folklore. Specifically, the association with La Lorena, a being that steals children with El Otro Lado as a being that steals parents (pg. 3-4). This is coming from the mind of a very young Reyna, only 4 years old, upon learning that her mother is going to America at the request of her husband, a father that Reyna does not remember. This is well shown in the fact that Reyna became attached to a specific photograph of her father, as it was the one she had always considered to be her papi as it was the photo in the home she grew up in (pg. 6).
Young Reyna held a bit of resentment to her mother for leaving her and her siblings. Her mother often said "my husband needs me" to which angered Reyna, thinking "As if my father is not a grown man. As if her children didn't need her as well" (pg. 7). It was only with reflection from much later did Reyna realize how important it was for her mother to go, as many men from their hometown left for America and never returned or called for the families they left behind. Certainly, this was a source of stress for her mother, one that Reyna at 4 could not comprehend despite knowing of fathers and husbands who had started entirely new lives upon reaching El Otro Lado. Even still, to me as someone who has lived quite well in the same home with both my parents for my entire life, it is difficult for me to accept how her mother was seemingly so easily able to leave her children behind. I do not know if she experienced any sort of conflict as I only have the information given by Reyna who is relying on her memories from her early childhood.
What I am sure of is that Reyna's mother thought that she was leaving her children in good hands with their Abuela Evila, their father's mother who was not fond of his choice of a wife. However, this was not the case. Reyna and her siblings, Carlos and Mago, were mistreated by their grandmother largely due to her distaste with their mother. She used the money sent by Reyna's parents for herself and their cousin (whose mother had become successful in America but had not returned to take her daughter with her). While their cousin, Elida, always had beautiful clothing, silky hair, and proper meals, Reyna and her siblings' had no shoes, old, ratty clothing, "louse-ridden hair [and] abdomens swelled with ringworms" (pg. 24). This contrast shows that their grandmother was purposefully neglecting three of her grandchildren whilst she spoiled another. It wasn't a matter of not being able to adequately provide for them but rather a wish not to.
Within chapter 5, Elida has her quinceanera. This is an important cultural event signifying a girl's entrance into adulthood at age 15 (much like the Filipino debut at age 18 and the, now uncommon, debutante ball typically associated with the white Southern United States). It is easy to tell how important this event is as Elida's mother comes from America to put it together (however, she still does not bring her daughter back with her when she leaves). Elida dances El Vals de las Mariposas with
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| 1 El Vals de las Mariposas |
I can already tell that this book is going to meet my expectations. I'm greatly looking forward to seeing how Reyna's life in Mexico progresses as well as how she adjusts to life in America. While Reyna was a child in the 1980s, I am getting a view of life in Mexico that I would never get in traveling there. I was in Mexico for a day last year and was simply a tourist (the mug in the photo is a souvenir from that trip). Then, I didn't even much time in the city I was at (Playa del Carmen) before proceeding
 |
| Xplor Park, Playa del Carmen |
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